Thursday, November 24, 2016

short stories

The Teacher says to the class: Who ever stands up is stupid
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: I said who ever stands up is STUPID!
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: Johnny, do you really think that you are stupid?
Little Johnny: No Mrs Smith, I just thought that maybe you are lonely being the only one standing.

***

"A cab driver picks up a nun. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you. Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds, "first, you have to be single & you must be Catholic." ...
He says, "Yes, I'm single & Catholic!" The nun kisses the driver then asks why he is crying. I lied...I must confess I'm married & I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin & I'm going to a Halloween party!"

***
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Jimmy Russell

22 November at 01:24

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding.... Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area aga
in, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace...
Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt..